#Strangers On The Internet Do Not Want Or Need Your Advice

[northern-passage]

one thing i find really difficult about navigating the IF space is the direct line of contact between readers and authors. we share the same space, and i think that plays a big part in this weird blurred line we have in this community and overall lack of boundaries.

for a lot of people this is a fun hobby and while i personally try to keep it... semi-professional most of the time, it's easy to get wrapped up in having fun on tumblr (or the forums, or reddit, wherever it is that you mainly post/interact) and have a lot of personal interactions with both readers and authors alike - which is fun! i like it more often than not, but i also think that's why a lot of comments in this space can end up being really entitled, over-familiar, and inappropriate.

it's no secret that most authors get really weird messages on here, and while this is also a problem on social media at large and not just specific to IF tumblr, it is still definitely a big problem in this community.

and to be clear i'm not saying that you can't be friendly with authors or readers (i've become friends with a handful of readers myself) and i definitely don't mean to imply that there needs to be a huge divide between us; that's silly - again, most authors are readers, most readers are authors, we’re just people on the internet sharing the same space. but all of us deserve to have our boundaries respected. this is my story, and we are strangers. as a general rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it out loud to someone you just met, you probably shouldn't be saying it to a stranger online. especially anonymously.

[renthony]

In which I'm angry about intersexism from trans people. Again.

"AFABs don't experience [thing experienced by intersex people of all assigned genders]!" is getting really fucking old. People re-inventing the sex and gender binary through their weird fucking fixation on "are you AMAB or AFAB? Are you TMA or TME?" is exhausting.

I'm tired of existing in trans spaces as a trans person, only to realize how actively hostile those spaces are to intersex people. I don't bother to go to the local trans support group, because my experiences there when I first tried to attend were fucking rancid. Trans people of all assigned sexes and all genders act like I don't belong there, and I hit my limit on that shit real fast. It's exhausting, it's alienating, and it's fucking miserable!

Trans people, you have got to fucking stop acting like intersex people don't exist. You have got to fucking stop acting like you own the concept of sex and gender based violence. You have got to fucking stop acting like transfem and transmasc are a set, incorruptible binary. You have got to fucking stop acting like your fucking bullshit in-fighting isn't affecting people who aren't you.

I'm tired of intersex people discussing our own experiences only to get shit all over by perisex trans people who want to put everyone in a binary.

I'm tired of watching intersex people get treated like shit by terfs and transphobes, only for perisex trans people to accuse us of "appropriating trans struggle" when we talk about it.

I'm tired of talking about my experiences as an intersex trans person only to get constantly hit with endless variations on "shut up, theyfab" or "um, you're TME."

I'm tired of talking to my transfem friends and partners, us relating to each other on our similar experience, and then having random other trans people on the internet decide that, actually, I'm a raging transmisogynist who doesn't value trans women and is trying to "appropriate" their struggle. Never mind how many of my own experiences I've been able to articulate thanks to the support of trans women in my life.

Perisex trans people, do better. Y'all fucking suck! Y'all fucking treat intersex people like total shit! Fuck you for using us as rhetorical devices against transphobes and then ignoring our actual needs and struggles!

I go outside and people call me a tranny with a freak ugly beard. I get targeted by all the same bathroom bills and public policy trying to force trans people out of the public. I get people asking me if I have a dick. I get people aggressively calling me "sir" in public. I started getting called a "he-she" when I was a child. When I started developing breasts, a family member told me they weren't "real titties, just extra fat." I have had total strangers tell me I "look like a fat man" when I got upset at being misgendered. I get "helpful advice" from strangers about how to shave "properly," even though I didn't fucking ask, nor do I intend to shave my beard. I've had people tell me I have "tranny feet" and tell me to "try the drag queen shoe store" when I talk about how hard it is to find women's shoes that fit me. I have been the subject of nasty rumors about what's between my legs and why I "try to look like a woman." I'm not a woman, mind you, but I still get treated as a "wrong woman" by society.

But when I talk about all these things? When I seek support? Trans people of all genders call me a TME theyfab who is appropriating transfem struggles.

I still don't understand how I'm the one "appropriating" when it's the outside world calling me a tranny he-she freak.

But whatever. I guess I just have to accept that intersex people are subhuman to perisex people, even the trans ones. 🤷‍♂️

[raekensluver]

do one where luigi takes your virginity and he’s real sweet about it pls pls pls plsplspls i need it

he's my baby, my baby, my babyyyyy

contains: p in v, virginity loss

luigi mangione x inexperienced!fem!reader

"you're sure you're okay with this?"

luigi's words hung in the air, heavy with anticipation and a hint of nerves, as the soft light from the bedside lamp cast a warm glow across the room. it was a question that had been dancing on the edge of your conversation for weeks now, a delicate topic that seemed to pull the two of you closer and create a silent space. your heart skipped a beat as you looked up into his sincere eyes, your boyfriend of almost a year. his dark hair was a mess from the day's activities, and the muscles in his arms flexed gently as he held your hand. hr was waiting for your answer, his gaze never wavering from yours.

you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. the quiet whispers of doubt in the back of your mind grew louder for a second before you pushed them aside. you had thought about this, talked with your closest friends, and even considered the advice of strangers on the internet. you knew what you wanted, and it was him. "yes," you murmured, the word a soft promise that seemed to echo through the room. "i'm sure."

his hand squeezed yours in response, and you could feel the tension in his body relax. with gentle care, luigi leaned in and kissed you, the warmth of his mouth sending waves of reassurance through your body. it was a kiss that spoke of love and commitment. as your kiss grew deeper, you felt his hand move lower, slipping under the waistband of your panties. you felt a flash of cold as he slid them down your legs, leaving you completely bare to him. his touch was gentle as he caressed the soft skin of your inner thighs, his fingertips grazing the sensitive area between your legs. he paused for a moment, looking into your eyes for any sign of hesitation. but all he saw was a reflection of his own need. with a nod, he positioned himself above you, his weight balanced on his arms as he looked down at your body.

his cock was hard and hot against your skin, the head of it nudging at your entrance. your breath hitched as you felt him push inside you, inch by inch. the sensation was foreign and a bit painful, but it was a pain you had been expecting. you closed your eyes, focusing on the feeling of him filling you, the way your body stretched to accommodate him. he was thick and long, and it took all your willpower not to tense up as he went deeper. his eyes never left yours as he entered you, the connection between the two of you palpable.

"are you okay?" he whispered, his voice strained with his own desire to go further, but holding back for you.

you nodded, the initial shock of pain giving way to a growing warmth that spread through your core. "keep going," you encouraged, your voice breathy and needy.

his hips began to move in a slow, rhythmic dance, pushing in and pulling out with a deliberateness that spoke of his control and experience. you felt yourself growing wetter, your body adjusting to his size. with each stroke, the pain diminished and was replaced by a building pleasure. his movements grew more confident, his strokes longer and deeper. your breathing quickened to match his pace, the air in the room thick with desire.

"you're so fucking tight," he groaned, his voice low and rough with passion. "you're gripping me like a vice."

you couldn't find the words to respond, your focus solely on the sensation of him inside you. your nails dug into the sheets as he picked up the pace, his movements becoming more urgent. you felt yourself opening up to him, your body starting to welcome the intrusion with a greedy need. a soft moan escaped your lips as he hit a spot that sent a jolt of pleasure through you, and he responded with a knowing smile.

his sweetness was evident in every touch, every kiss, and every whispered word of encouragement. even when you winced at the discomfort, his touch grew softer, his kisses more tender. his eyes searched yours, looking for any sign that you wanted him to stop. but all he saw was the same determination that had been in yours when you gave him the go-ahead.

his movements grew smoother, more practiced. he knew exactly how to touch you, how to kiss you to make you melt into the bed beneath him. his thumb found your clit and began to circle it with a gentle pressure that had you gasping for breath. it was a sweet torture, a delicious friction that sent shivers up your spine and made your toes curl.

you felt the pressure building, a warm coil deep within you that grew tighter with every stroke. your hips began to move with him, meeting him thrust for thrust as you grew more comfortable with the sensation. your walls tightened around him, the slickness of your arousal making it easier for him to move inside you.

his thumb worked in a steady rhythm against your clit, the sensation becoming almost unbearable. your breathing grew ragged, your eyes squeezed shut as you felt the peak approaching. "luigi," you whimpered, his name a plea on your lips.

"i know," he murmured against your neck, his teeth grazing your skin. "let go for me, baby."

his words sent a shiver down your spine, and you did. your body arched off the bed as the orgasm crashed over you, a wave of pleasure so intense it stole your breath away. you could feel him swell inside you, his muscles tense with his own approaching climax. as the spasms of your release gripped him, he drove into you one last time before stilling, his body shaking with the force of his orgasm.

for a moment, you were lost in the haze of pleasure, your senses overwhelmed by the feel of him, the sound of your ragged breathing, and the scent of your combined desire. then, gradually, the world came back into focus. you looked up into his eyes, which were glazed with passion, and saw the love and care that he had for you reflected there. the connection you shared was palpable, and you knew that you had made the right decision.

[thatbadadvice]

Dear Advisor,

I tend to be a very reserved and shy person so making friends is super hard. Recently I’ve been wanting to socialize more , but I genuinely don’t know how. Is there any advice that you have that can make me look more approachable and not be scared to talk to people. I’m so stressed about being alone and not having any friends, but I just find it so hard to go up to people and make a conversation. I tried once but it became super awkward. I just really need good advice from someone on how to approach a person and continue a conversation.

Dear Awkward Anonymous,

It would be so easy to get into a whole deep let's-skeetshoot-therapy-on-the-internet session and try to help a total stranger unpack all of the GA-FUCKING-ZILLION ways in which social awkwardness shows up in a person's life. It seems easy, and it even seems meaningful and worthwhile, but to do so I would have to presume a bunch about your life, and make a bunch of assumptions about the ways in which my own experiences maybe/probably track with yours, and it would be a whole big wank-fest, and frankly ... it would be awkward. I'd be like you, standing there at the party, hoping that what I'm saying resonates or lands or even vaguely tracks with anything a stranger has ever known or experienced, presuming (probably rightly!) that it doesn't, and then flailing and blaming myself when I didn't emerge from the interaction with all the world's gold stars.

So here's what: stop talking to other people as a primary social occupation. Going up to people and just talking is fucking terrifying. The Bad Advisor says this as a Certified Extrovert™ who rarely shuts the fuck up.

Instead, find a thing to do with other people that involves some sort of task or goal or activity. Talk about the thing you're doing together, when you're doing it. If it feels okay, maybe introduce one or two of your own relatable-to-the-activity experiences in the process. See who picks up on it. Ask the people who pick up on it genuinely interested questions in response. This is what we awkward people call: engineering a conversation. It is the way, I am told, humans make connections with other humans. I have seen it work in my own life.

Depending on where you live and your ability level and skill set, I bet you have some options! You could seek out an open board game night, pub quiz session, knitting/quilting circle, or mutual aid meetup that's looking for volunteers. Especially look for social activities with strangers that involve a dedicated, pre-prescribed activity (such as a hiking or mall-walking group, stuffing envelopes for a political candidate or cause you care about, planting trees at your local park, or tasting tea/wine/beer/etc.). (Somebody is going to say join a ballroom dancing club or suchlike; I am personally terrified of this, but if you have a higher tolerance for strangers touching you and fewer than two left feet: it's literally an option. Line-dancing, on the other hand ... absofuckinglutely.)

Even if what's available in your area isn't your precise and specific interest, it might be worthwhile to check out something you are decidedly meh about -- you might not be the only meh person there. You can bond over shit that's boring or shitty with other people who find it boring or shitty! Some of my best friends, arguably my very best friends, came out of experiences we mutually loathed or found at least moderately and mutually miserable.

Consider especially finding an activity where you yourself are the manager of operations and/or have a designated task to take care of that is unique to your position! This doesn't have to be complicated or skill-dependent; can you become a voter registrar in your area? Well, bam! You've got paperwork people have to fill out and a good reason to jibber-jabber with folks who have to ask you the questions. Other ideas: join your local neighborhood association board, become a notary public, or see if your local pet rescue is looking for intake line volunteers. Do you have a trustworthy, especially outgoing friend who might agree to play "social glue" for you a couple of times at their activity-centric events? Make it explicit! Ask them if they'll play friendly wing-person for you at their D&D game, fantasy sports league, or some such.

Alternately: Do you have a unique and fun and shareable skillset you can share with others? Are you pretty good at drawing, programming? Simply a font of endless Merlin or NFL or Real Housewives knowledge? You might start a local Discord or other online social group to discuss and share your interests, then move it to the real world in a few weeks once folks get comfortable. You get the idea.

Most of all: Look for stuff that has more-than-just-talking opportunities available outside the designated group jam for you to maintain connections. Perhaps a group chat, a Discord, a Slack, what-have-you, where you can take more time to consider and draft your responses and posts? Connections with humans get made a thousand ways, and talking raw-dog with strangers is but one.

It takes a true social unicorn to be simply good at talking and only talking to other people. There are some of these one-horned wonders out there, to be sure — but let me assure you that the vast majority of folks want to be accepted and seen just as much as you do, and they're staring at the ceiling at night thinking just as much (more, probably) about all the weird, wonky shit they themselves threw at you than they are anything you ever said to them.

[aturnipsingularity]

So.

So.

[stitchau]

————————《《FAQ》》————————

This post will be updated over time.

Main artist account: @centfornothing (both tumblr, twitter and soon bluesky)

Currently, i am very busy with university, and I'm not gonna be free any time soon...(except holidays, obviously) BUT I am really trying to put at least SOME time into what I've created here, so there's that. (Hopefully I'll survive all that)

— Usage of Stitch/Fanart

1. Q: Can I create fanart of Stitch?

A: Yes, I'd be more than happy if you do! ^^

Also, do not be shy to tag me! I will, from time to time, check if i was tagged somewhere.

2. Q: Can I use your character in my comic/animation/fanfiction?

A: Yep! I don't see why not.

3. Q: Can I ship *insert character name here* with Stitch?

A: Sure, have fun! But I sure do hope that the character in question is not a child. I am strongly against it.

4. Q: Can I create NSFW🔞 content of Stitch?

A: Yes, unless it involves children/incest. Do not draw stuff like that.

5. Q: Can I voice act your comics?

A: Any day!! Just don't forget to put credits, everything else is up to you! ^^

— NOT ALLOWED

I'm being repetitive here, but whatever. These are the only things I don't want people to do with my character, and I hope you understand why.

DO NOT create content depicting Stitch engaging with children in sexual manner.

DO NOT create content depicting Stitch endorsing incest/racism/f*scism/n*zism or anything similar to that.

As advice, I'd kindly ask you not to create stuff like this at all. Please be a better person and be responsible with what you create and put out there on the internet.

— About asks/questions

Questions that I have already answered won't get a reply.

Not all the questions will get their answers. Either because it's not the time for the answer yet or because it's irrelevant/not a question at all.

If there's too many questions, yours might be missed/might get a late reply(currently i have 70+ questions, no joke, and i just cant answer all of them, especially when there's more of them every day). But don't be shy asking questions anyway!

Other reasons for your questions not getting an answer:

I might be busy because I also have to live a life.

If your question is something like "I love your au sm," then thank you. I really appreciate your kind words, you are making my day💞

I might not want to answer your question for reasons. (Provocative questions, personal questions, etc)

If you are asking something related to YOUR OWN mental health. Please, PLEASE, if you have real problems, do not try to find a solution for them from internet strangers, go and talk to a real, qualified professional.

Please do not vent to me, I am not qualified to offer you help. I wish you the best, please stay safe.

And just a separate point about roleplays. Sorry, but I don't really do them. I can play along to something unserious and small, but whole roleplays are not for me.

— About Stitch

Stitch uses any pronouns, but they/them is a preferred one.

They are aroace.

The place they live in is called "Treatment space"(the info on what it is will be elaborated on sometime later). It is accessible for anyone in Omega Timeline at any given point through a door. But it can also be accessed from anywhere if you have one of 2 special keys: small red key that will create a door for 1 person leading to the Treatment Space or the bigger dark red key that will create a much bigger door, also leading to the Treatment Space(backyard). Keys can be mostly found in Omega Timeline, but some are scattered throughout the Multiverse.

They mimic the voice according to the form they have at the moment. So Sans' voice for a form of Sans, etc.

For all the different parts of plush bodies and clothes, there is a separate big room in Treatment Space.

Stitch doesn't need to sleep, eat, or drink.

Their most preferred forms are Toriel(convenience) and Sans(frequency of use).

The forms they don't like to use the most are the ones that are small(like Temmie, annoying dog, Flowey, etc.)

— The Lore(WIP)

Prologue

Chapter 1: Lucky streak — part 1

— Stitch's forms

I have some forms drawn separately, and some that I drew with some other sketches. I MIGHT be a bit too lazy to draw every from individually for now, so here's what I have:

Papyrus

Muffet

Mettaton

Alphys

Gaster

Monster kid (MK)

Grillby

Frisk and Chara(want to change them)

Toriel(if you can't tell, I like this one a lot)

Asgore, Flowey, Sans, Undyne, some stuff

More info will be added later

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[thistlearts]

It's so funny how some puriteens tell people to "go seek therapy" if they are proship, and have taboo kinks or defend people who have taboo kinks. Because in reality of professional therapists (not in antis fantasies abut how therapy actually works) this would look like this: Proshipper goes to therapy. Therapist: How can I help you? What bothers you? Proshipper: Someone on the internet said that I need to go to therapy because I ship age gaps and incest. And sometimes the characters I ship are abusive towards each other or others. They can be even serial killers or monsters. Therapist: Does that make you feel like you want to do all those things IRL? Proshipper: No, of course not. Therapist: Is anyone doing this to you IRL? Proshipper: Not as far as I am aware. Therapist: That's totally fine to have taboo erotic fantasies. But I would suggest we talk about your boundaries and why you allow strangers on the internet to give you unsolicited advice on your mental health over personal things such as kinks and erotic fantasies which harm no one and don't involve anyone but you and fictional characters. N.B. This is of course a joking oversimplification of how therapy works, but if someone thinks a professional therapist would essentially try to shame their client for sexual fantasies, they are delusional. P.S. I was told in the comments that the word "delusional" is often used as a mean to insult people with mental problems. I apologize that it might come off as such. English is not my native language and as far as we use this word's equivalent in my tongue is in the meaning "to be mistaken about something, since you only have an illusion of a fact not an actual real experience with it". It has nothing to do with mental health, but only with someone believing a perceived reality that is not correlating with facts due to lack of knowledge/experience.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

It's difficult to write anything about the safety of Pride events without either greatly downplaying or exaggerating the potential risks of attending.

This is, at least partly, an online issue: the internet is international but there’s no international standard of safety for lgbt+ people. Someone reading this blog may be from a country where Pride events are generally safe and counterprotests are uncommon (or at least stay small and nonviolent) - but it'd be grossly negligent of me to pretend that this is true for everyone everywhere.

On top of those differences by country or location, there’s also individual safety concerns. Some things may pose a potential risk to certain groups or individuals while other people are unlikely to be negatively affected by them. This includes factors like crowds, loud music, exposure to alcohol or drugs etc. but also factors like the risk of being seen by someone who knows you or the risk of racist or antisemitic attacks etc.

All this is to say: I will happily share some general advice on safety with you – but if you’re trying to make a personal decision regarding the safety of attending Pride (regardless of whether that is “Is it safe for me to attend an event at all?” or just “How can I prepare for an event, so it’s as comfortable and fun as possible for me?”), don’t rely solely on me… or on any one voice you hear online. They may be in a totally different situation than you and inadvertently give you a totally wrong picture of it!

Tip Number One actually ties in with everything I said above: do you have friends (or other trusted people) who have attended Pride in your area before? If so, they may be a more reliable source of advice than a stranger online! Maybe you could even ask them to come along? Having an experienced Pride-goer with you is one of the best ways to ensure a safe and comfortable experience.

Other tips and pieces of advice that may be helpful:

Look the location up before you arrive: Which public transport stations are nearby? Where would you go if you need to buy a quick snack? Are there public toilets available? Where’s the nearest hospital or emergency room? Also note your surroundings when you arrive: Where are the exits? Are there any easily recognizable spots you could look for if you get lost? Where will you meet up with your friends or group if you accidentally get separated from them? 

Make a plan beforehand and share it with at least one trusted person. Let them know where you are going, who you are going with, how you plan to get there and back home (public transit, your own car, your friend’s car etc.) and when you intend to be back home. Make sure to keep them updated on any changes in your plans and ask them to check in regularly. Also agree on what they should do if they haven’t heard from you at the agreed time.

If you go with a friend or a group, agree beforehand how you’ll handle potential scenarios: what if one person wants to go home and the other(s) want to stay? What if one of you gets separated from the other(s)? (Don’t rely solely on texting/calling each other in such cases (phones can unexpectedly die, get lost, get stolen, have no cell service etc.))

Pride events often take place in summer, so make sure to keep sun/heat safety in mind! Wear sunscreen, stay hydrated, don't overexhaust yourself in hot weather and read up on the symptoms of (and first aid for) heat exhaustion.

If you want to stay safe and alert, your best bet is to stay sober. Don’t drink alcohol or take drugs. (If you do plan to do either of these things, then please keep basic harm reduction measures in mind: don’t drink on an empty stomach, don’t mix alcohol and meds, have at least one person in your group who stays sober, don’t drink & drive etc.) 

Make sure to take everything with you that you may need, such as a water bottle, snacks, any necessary medications, face masks, first aid supplies, a portable charger for your phone, emergency contact info (written down in case your phone dies), sunscreen etc.

Learn your rights when it comes to getting stopped by police (Make sure that what you read up on is actually true for your country and is up to date).

Read up on safety precautions for chemical irritation if the use of pepper spray/tear gas is a concern in your area. Same goes for active shooter situations. It may be a worst case scenario but it’s better to read up beforehand if it’s something you worry about.

Don’t engage with counterprotesters. Even if they seem nonviolent, keep in mind that they may just be waiting for you to provoke them, so they can “justify” escalating to violence. Just keep your distance, don’t talk to them, don’t let them bait you into conversation. 

Lastly, you want to keep everyone else safe too, so: make sure you don’t accidentally out anyone. Pride is supposed to be a safe space. Don’t take pictures of strangers, don’t upload anything on social media that shows anyone’s face or name if you didn’t get explicit permission to do so. 

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[nondelphic]

Hello, hope you're doing well and that I'm not bothering you. I know this blog is for relatable writing posts, and I very much do find them relatable (kudos to you), but I was wondering if I could ask for some advice. Why you? IDK, you seem like a nice person, and you do writing stuff, so I figured why not ask? You don't have to respond, but here goes:

Just, how do you get started? I have so many scenes (literally entire dang novels and story arcs) in my head that are quite vivid, I can hear the dialogue, vividly see the scene and map out everything in my head, but the second I try to put it on paper (or google doc), my brain just freezes up and shuts down, partly out of fear of not being able to do good or cringing hard at it. I know people say to just do it and get it out since a bad draft is better than nothing, but, how do you convince your brain to sit down and actually write out the scenes?

I probably kind of just answered my own question, but it would be nice to get some feedback from an internet stranger (technically speaking) who knows this sort of thing. Anyways, I hope you're doing well and that you have a good day/night :)

Do feel free to ignore this though, I don't want to be a bother.

nondelphic writing tips: overcoming the "brain freeze" when starting to write

first off, thank you for reaching out!! i feel you on the vivid mental movies that suddenly go static the second you try to write them down—this is such a common struggle, and you’re definitely not alone (ノ_<、) so here’s the thing: your brain knows what it wants to create, but perfectionism is sneaking in and hitting the brakes. it wants it to be just right before it’s even out of your head, which is a recipe for freeze mode. here are a few tricks to warm up (i hope something helps!!):

✧ start tiny

instead of aiming to write a full scene, jot down one line of dialogue or one tiny detail you see in your mind. sometimes just easing in with a line or two makes the brain relax, like “oh, we’re just dipping our toes in, not jumping into the deep end.”

✧ embrace cringe

if it helps, tell yourself that this draft will be messy, and that’s okay. i call it the “potato draft” stage—ugly but foundational. no one needs to see this stage, so just spill whatever comes. you’re capturing the vibe of your story idea, not the final masterpiece.

✧ trick the brain with “notes”

try writing scenes as if you’re just jotting “notes” or a “sketch” for later. it’s weirdly freeing and convinces your mind that it’s not permanent, making it easier to just get words out.

writing is about building up that “just write” muscle, so even if it feels clunky at first, you’re moving forward, and that’s progress! i hope this helps a bit, and sending good vibes and hugs your way (っ˘ω˘ς )

[amazinglyspicy]

PIRATE SAFELY!! But pirate ;)

Hello! I’ve gotten a flood of new followers thanks to an addition I made about NOT torrenting from the Pirate Bay, so I want to address it better.

If you’ve come to check my blog for more piracy resources, advice, guides, etc, then check out some of the links in this pinned!

First and Foremost, Do not do Anything without an adblocker. Ublock Origin is the best.

Resources/Wikis: 🌟Top recommendation is the Free Media Heck Yeah Wiki, frequently updated, maintained, and transparent, as well as has a welcoming community behind it if you have questions. The rest are for redundancy's sake and for anything not found in FMHY, though most Wikis on this topic tend to repeat the same info. 🌟

VPN Comparison Chart - General Rule of Thumb, DO NOT use any VPN recommended by Youtubers, influencers, or any other shill with a profit motive. Large marketing budget does not equal good privacy practices. Do your own research.

-Since both Mullvad VPN and IVPN are planned to now suspend port forwarding support, the next best choices for torrenting though a VPN seem to be AirVPN and ProtonVPN.

HOWEVER, AirVPN has no evidence of a no logging policy (aka there’s a chance they keep records of what you do on their service) and ProtonVPN has no method of anonymously signing up and use a subscription model instead of a preferable pay-as-you-go model. So take that as you will.

(NOTE: You do not need to pay for a VPN if you are only directly downloading from a server or streaming off of websites! But it’s probably a good idea for privacy reasons anyways.)

A very good Comprehensive Torrenting Guide! -eye strain warning

And another one!

-If you torrent you need a VPN depending on how strict your government is on copyright laws. This works on a case by case basis, so I recommend looking up your own country's laws on the matter. Generally speaking, use a VPN to torrent if your country falls under The 14 Eyes Surveillance Alliance. More info on what that is Here.

A Note about Antivirus: - If you're using trusted websites, and not clicking on any ad links/fake download ads (Should be blocked by ublock), then you don't necessarily need any antivirus. Common Sense and Windows Defender should be enough to get you by. If you would like to be certain on what you are downloading is legitimate, then run your file through a virus scanner like VirusTotal. Keep in mind that when scanning cracked software some scans may flag “false positives” as the injectors used to crack the software look like malware to these scanners. Once again, the best way to avoid malware is to use trusted sites listed here and use an adblocker at all times.

If you have any questions on anything posted, need help finding things, or just need some clarification on any terms used, shoot me an ask or message! I've got a few years experience with not paying for anything I want, and LOVE to help others with this kind of stuff. But if you don't trust me, since I am a random stranger on the internet, that's fine (I wont be offended promise)! Do your own research!

INFORMATION SHOULD BE FREE!

Last updated: February 16th 2024

[abyss-seer]

Soul Soothing Messages

Pick any one of the 6 piles

****Viewer Discretion is Advised****

Tarot Readings are meant for entertainment purposes only, take them as a second opinion only. The purpose of these readings is to bring insights into a person's life, hence only take the guidance with your own free will. Tarot Reader is/will not be held responsible for the viewer's actions. Viewer Discretion is strictly advised and to be adhered to while watching tarot readings for themselves.

USE YOUR DISCERNMENT. DO NOT FOLLOW ANYTHING BLINDLY. THESE READINGS ARE MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

*******INDIVIDUALS SEEKING LEGAL, MEDICAL, OR ANY PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ARE ADVISED TO SEEK PROFESSIONALS OF THESE RELATED AREAS. ********

Individuals seeking mental, emotional, or psychological attention are advised to seek mental healthcare professionals, or the National Health Care Helplines of their respective countries and consider the opinions, resources, and guidance of these professionals as their first priority and the tarot reader's words as a friendly opinion or as a friendly advice

Pile 1

Confirmations: Golden hour - JVKE, Magic Shop - BTS, Moon - Jin,Bts

Seaweed grass, neck problems, back problems

Dear Pile 1,

My loves, you are amazing, radiant, and beautiful exactly as you are. There’s nothing you need to change about yourself to win the love of someone special. You’ve never had to become someone else or mold yourself into a fictional ideal to be worthy of love. True love comes when you are unapologetically yourself.

Pile 1, take care of yourself—especially your neck and back! Don’t strain them by staring down at your phone all the time, and maybe turn down the blasting music in your ears. There’s a whole world around you waiting to be explored.

Why let the fear of judgment hold you back? Break free from the imaginary cages you’ve built and step into the light. The internet might feel limitless, but it’s still another cage if you use it to hide from the real world. Are you constantly doubting your looks or imagining what kind of person you think others want you to be? Stop overthinking!

The world will love you for who you are. There are people out there who won’t judge your views—some will even find them inspiring and find you incredibly attractive. You have unique perspectives, and people can learn from them. So, ask your questions openly, share your thoughts freely, and embrace this world as a classroom where we are all students, each learning at our own pace.

Take a moment to reflect on what you want in a soulmate and the kind of people you wish to surround yourself with. Let this be a reminder that your authentic self is enough. There are people who will love and accept you wholeheartedly for who you are, who you’ve been, and who you will become.

No matter what happens, someone out there will always cherish you just as you are.

With love,

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 2

Confirmations: very mindful very demure trend, very subtle, slow and steady, stand offish, emblem, victorious, knowledgeable, September, Virgo Season, Virginia

Dear Pile 2,

Contemplative, introspective, patient, victorious, revolutionary—how many more labels do you need to define yourself? Do you really have to carry the weight of this "serious identity" of being a leader? Do you think anyone—or anything—could truly define who you are?

Why look at yourself through a stranger’s lens? Does that perspective truly capture your essence? Who are you at your core? Is the person within you the one calling the shots, or have you let someone else take the reins? Even Girish (Lord Shiva) himself couldn’t define you—only you can. (Some of you could love mountain strolls, ‘Girish’ means one who resides in mountains. Maybe some of you worship a mountain deity like a Shinto deity)

This isn’t something a tarot reader can tell you because deep down, you already know it. So, what’s holding you back? Are you unaware of your own potential? Haven’t you seen the hurdles you’ve overcome to reach this point in your life?

Why feel embarrassed about being in a better position now? Why isolate yourself when you’ve already earned your victories? Do you really need to shrink yourself to fit into the mold of others, or should those trying to limit you rise to meet your level? Which path sounds more empowering and true to growth?

Pile 2, stop accommodating people who judge others based on superficial flaws. Instead, move at your own pace, staying true to your ethics, standards, and values. Ask yourself: what do you really love to do? What would you pursue if judgment didn’t exist?

Because here’s the truth: it’s possible to live that life. And not just live it—leave a legacy that others will remember. Your soul’s unique signature is meant to inspire, to create waves in the world.

So, go after what excites you. Reignite that spark. Make life worth remembering.

With love,

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 3

Dear Pile 3,

Alright, Pile 3, who’s the person that’s stolen your heart? Do you feel sad about not being noticed or seen by them? Does this person inspire you in some way? Do they leave you at a loss for words?

Aww, my sweet little angels, don’t be sad! Your heart doesn’t deserve to carry this kind of ache. Let me tell you something: you’ll never know what could happen unless you express your feelings.

This lesson applies to more than just love—it’s the same with your career. Some of you might have experienced hardship, maybe even violence or exclusion, possibly because of poverty or feeling left out. These moments can make you question your path in life. When it comes to love, you’ve been hesitant to take risks. And in your career, you still feel uncertain.

The real issue, Pile 3, is that you’re not standing up for yourself. You fear judgment and hesitate to take bold steps. Your Manipura Chakra (solar plexus) and Visuddha Chakra (throat) are calling out to you. They’re urging you to be honest, make a strategic move, and take charge of your life.

Remember your Shakti! You are not here to be preyed upon or diminished. You’re here to walk this Earth like a tigress—strong, proud, and full of grace. You have the power to reclaim your rightful space and radiate light onto others.

Now is the time to cleanse yourself of negativity, self-doubt, and unrequited energy. Clear your mind, space, and body of anything holding you back. Take a moment to stretch, breathe deeply, and let happiness fill your soul. Go for a walk, feel the freedom, and let yourself reconnect with your purpose.

I promise you, success is within your reach—whether it’s in love, your career, or life itself. Take a step back, relax, and trust that Devi Durga is with you, guiding you toward your light. Embrace who you are, do what excites you, and show courage when it’s needed. Take risks, stand up for yourself, and trust that you’re on the right path.

You’ve got this, Pile 3! Shine bright, take the leap, and know the way will reveal itself.

Good day, my loves. Bubbye!

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 4

Confirmations:

Film based, happy hare,638,368,63,36,93, multiples of 3,21, sea monsters, percy Jackson, someone’s nickname could be or mean ‘monkey’, mooncake, mid-autumn festival,707,909,yoy,LOL,

This pile reminds me a lot of PJ series and all the sea goddess, Beren and Luthien, Lord of Rings and Hobbit, 3 letter palindrome with letter ‘o’ in the middle could be significant, Having Strict teachers and parents growing up,Sailor Moon, religious leaders like pandits or priests forcing culture on you, Character of Father Nelson from Hilda Furracao, Guru Dronacharya disabling someone's growth to enable someone else.

Dear Pile 4,

Are you constantly changing yourself to be loved by others? Are you holding on to the idea of a “dream partner” from childhood, wishing for someone as idealistic as the fantasy? Do you find yourself torn between loving the real person in front of you and the ideal person in your mind? My loves, isn’t it exhausting to hold people to the impossible standards of your favorite anime or fictional character?

It’s time to stop wasting your energy trying to change people or resenting them for not meeting those expectations. Real love doesn’t come from forcing others to fit your mold. Why do you feel the need to change others? Is it because you struggle to accept them—or maybe even yourself?

Are you in connections where you pretend to be someone you’re not? Does the idea of looking beyond the “mist” of a perfect life seem unbearable? Pile 4, take a deep look within. Where is this mist coming from? Is it the people around you or fears rooted in past trauma? Whatever the source, clarity begins with you.

For some of you, this mist may stem from childhood expectations. Perhaps a mother figure or other authority figures imposed strict control, criticized every small mistake, and denied you the space to fail and learn. Maybe decisions were made for you, leaving you fearful and indecisive despite knowing what you needed to do.

I sense echoes of Eklavya from Indian mythology but in a negative context —someone who was subservient and maladaptive because they weren’t given the freedom to adapt or grow cause their thumb was cut off to stop their growth. You might have faced harsh punishments, controlling parents, or strict teachers, which instilled meekness and fear of failure. For some, even religious or cultural traditions may have felt stifling, leaving little room for individuality.

Pile 4, I’m so sorry if you endured any of this. Do you settle for what you’re given because you were taught that’s all you deserved? Have past experiences, like being bullied for your accent or identity, left you afraid to ask for more or show your true self? (I am specifically getting Kim Kardashian's NYC accent, its as if someone was bullied for their accent which ended up in them never asking questions again out of embarrassment, aww pile 4, iam so sorry for what you went through. This should have never happened, I hope you know that and beleive me when I say so. It should have never happened you, alright? Love you so much 🩷)

Listen to me: you don’t have to be the person others forced you to become. Let your soul breathe. Release yourself from expectations and labels that don’t align with who you truly are. Life is full of gifts if you choose to see them. Heal from your fear of delays and failure. Let go of hyper-independence and control.

You weren’t meant to carry the weight of the world alone. Let others help you. Don’t let past bullying or harshness keep you from caring for yourself or connecting with others. Recognize these patterns, ask yourself the right questions, and start your healing journey.

There is help out there—mental health hotlines, domestic abuse support, and professionals ready to assist you. Please know you never deserved to be treated poorly. You are unique and worthy of expressing your true self. Don’t suppress your light; don’t let these experiences turn into controlling tendencies or victimization.

Pile 4, you are bigger and better than the labels and burdens placed upon you. Let go of the harshness of the world and embrace the beautiful soul you were born to be. Celebrate yourself and find joy in the things that resonate with your spirit.

You might enjoy songs like “Just Right” by GOT7, “Nunu Nana” by Jessie, or “Born to Be” by Nano. Let them remind you of your worth and strength.

With love,

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 5

Confirmations:

child,baby,chidren,111, zen meditation, earth sign, mother mature, river goddess, mother gaia, a very beautiful meditative spot, a very good ecosystem, jeji,jiji,gg,gigi, shaktivism, devi energy coming through,

Jeju island in korea, best childhood memory relating to cellphone ringtone, come hard at me, hard carry got 7, alternating current, bird sound ringtone, nokia cellphone, 1980s to 1990s, remembering taking a phone call of a beloved family member, message of concern, coffin, news related to someone’s death, one question that doesn’t change in your mind,Rishab or bishop, motherly nature, very organized.

Pile3 and pile 1 could be significant for you

Dear Pile 5,

It seems you might be in a very vulnerable place right now. I’m sensing deep emotional struggles, and for some, even thoughts of self-harm. My dear Pile 5, if this resonates with you, please seek help immediately. If you’ve experienced abuse, emotional suppression, or even substance struggles, know that you are not alone. There are people who care, support systems available, and resources like suicide helplines to turn to.

If you feel lost, start small—reach out to a trusted friend, a past colleague, or someone you feel safe with. Don’t let the doubts planted in your mind stop you from seeking the help you deserve. You are worthy of healing and support.

For those of you who have endured this pain, justice will come—but don’t focus on revenge or the past. Instead, focus on you. Build yourself up, prioritize your mental health, and reclaim your strength. Therapy, support groups, and professional help can be lifesaving. There is no shame in seeking help—it is an act of courage.

You may feel like your dreams, energy, and hope have faded, but that’s just an illusion. You still have strength within you to start over. Listen to “N’y Pense Plus” by Tayc or “Daisy” by Stereo Dive Foundation—they might bring some solace. Remember, no matter how exhausted or defeated you feel, this heaviness is temporary, not your reality.

If your mind replays past memories or clings to moments of comfort during abuse, that’s your trauma talking. Be patient with yourself. Trauma takes time to heal, but healing is possible. If there’s someone you trust—someone whose words could lift you up—reach out to them now.

If you’re in an abusive relationship or situation, get out of it right away. Your intuition already knows who to turn to for safety and support. Listen to that voice inside you. You deserve love, care, and peace. Don’t carry this burden alone—talk to someone, even if it’s online. Vent, share, cry, but don’t keep it bottled up.

Pile 5, I love you, and I want you to take care of yourself. Healing starts when you reach out and let it all out. You are stronger than you think, and your life is worth fighting for.

Take care, my dear. I’ll leave you with this: you can and will rise again. You are not alone.

With love,

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 6

Confirmations:

Nature sound, bird watching, chirping of birds, nightangle, happy hare song, I need u by bts, run by bts, something about doing drggs in bathtub, Suffered by a bunch of goons, heart shapes, dwarf, someone breaking up on phone due to the other cheating, Taste – Sabrina Carpenter, Someone saying they have been known to share their (cookies) or (peonies) everywhere, hiring a Private Investigator to uncover that the person was lying about their misery to get money out of you 🫠🤷🏽‍♀️, Seven by Jungkook, you could want the cookie or peony seven days a weeks, 24x7, 365 days, s*x addicted, Dimple - BTS but all of it feels heavy illegal so it increases the taboo, Serenity by Jimin. I channeled "Kpop Singers, Kpop Band and Kpop Man" in my head, wanting to commit some sort of treason or illegal deed (or idk make them cheat ) for a lover, 100 ways by Jackson Wang, Pretty Please - Jackson Wang, Pretty Please by Dua Lipa, Someone's beggin someone to bite the forbidden apple, What the heck! Pile 6 you are interesting af, seems like you are hanging on the line between good and bad.

Dear Pile 6,

You’re not just a chess player—you’re the grandmaster of strategy! Your message carries the wisdom of ancestors, and you radiate a fiery resilience that reminds me of Daenerys from Game of Thrones. Like her, you’ve endured pain, abuse, and underestimation but transformed it all into wisdom. You waited, learned, and now stand ready to claim your crown. You’re the underestimated force no one saw coming—what a powerful energy!

Pile 6, I see you. You’ve worked hard, earned your success, and now indulge in the fruits of your labor. Luxury suits you. Seven by Jungkook? That’s your vibe, along with 365 days. But beneath it all, loneliness lingers. You may wonder if you’ll ever find true love or family again. Some of you may even feel orphaned in spirit, longing for connection.

You’re being asked to let things flow. Don’t overthink or take shortcuts to cope with disappointment. If a dream or relationship didn’t work out, stop replaying it in your mind. Release it. Change your perspective and focus on your growth. Your work likely involves communication or intellectual skills, so channel your energy there.

For those who feel a deep sadness from broken relationships or missed opportunities, let go of trying to rationalize what went wrong. The answers won’t soothe you. Focus instead on your aspirations. Someone here might resonate with country music, rural living, or have a love for animals like horses. Express your desires boldly—don’t shy away, even if you’re on the closeted side. Someone here could be from the year of horse or Ashwini, Shatabhisha, moola and Ardra (I was getting dog yoni) Nakshatra or a Sagittarius or can have a pet shop or stable full of horses.

If conflicts around family property, betrayal, or unresolved commitments are weighing on you, it’s time to release the baggage. Feeling cheated or betrayed, especially by family or a past lover, can be overwhelming. But holding onto anger only prolongs your pain. Stop revisiting old wounds or seeking validation from those who wronged you. If a cheater or manipulative ex resurfaces, don’t let their sob stories reel you back in. Protect your peace and move forward.

You’ve been blessed with a fresh start—don’t waste it looking backward. The attachments you hold to past people or situations may feel familiar, but they are chains. Trust me, better people and opportunities are waiting for you. If anyone from your past tries to return, proceed cautiously, and never let them exploit you again. Friends and lovers who only take from you aren’t worth your time.

Pile 6, you’re a star, and you deserve relationships that uplift you, not drag you down. Let go of anyone who dims your light. Cut the snakes from your garden and welcome those who genuinely care for you.

Stay radiant, stay strong, and have a fabulous day!

Bye-bye 😊

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

[everpresence]

i say this with love, but the more you learn about the law, the sooner you’ll realize that it no longer makes sense to continue seeking more guidance outside of yourself. it will no longer make sense to try to make sense of the law, to always look for the next “a-ha” moment only for the information to be the same. there’s literally nothing new to learn about the law, and you’re putting yourself in a cycle that seems to never end.

go cold turkey. get off of tumblr, facebook, instagram, reddit. stop watching LOA content, stop looking for advice on using the law, whether X Y Z is possible. stop listening to neville goddard’s lectures, stop looking for success stories, STOP. IT. ALL.

you no longer need to know whether you’re doing it “right” or “wrong,” because at the end of the day, it’s all you. it’s all up to your interpretation — YOU get to decide whether you’re doing everything “right” or “wrong.” YOU are the only one giving meaning to every single thing, no one else. therefore, your circumstances literally don’t matter.

and for the love of god-in-you, stop going around asking people if you can “manifest” A, B, or C. first of all, creation is finished 😭😭 you’re not even “manifesting” or “creating,” you’re just choosing what you want to experience. second of all, you’re on your own journey. why are you asking complete strangers on the internet for approval? HELLO? isn’t this YOUR life? your life that YOU have complete control over?

if you want to see whether you can have what it is you want, then put it to the test. JUST TRY IT. why are you letting the community stop you from having what you want? 😭

YOU have all of the answers to your questions. you are consciousness, and consciousness is the only reality. you are the cause. TRUST yourself.

[some-stars]

i was about to reblog this post with some thoughts, and then reblogs got turned off so i will just put them here instead:

it's not that i disagree with any of the sentiment in this post--while i personally have been very lucky to get plenty of nice comments, it's definitely eerily quiet and sometimes weirdly hostile out there for most people, much more than it used to be. but i just don't think posts like this are effective, and honestly i don't think that "number of comments from strangers" is what's really missing. what people are missing is the community that fandom/fanfic used to have, and the way you get that is by making it. you gotta make fandom friends who are excited for your thoughts and your stories, and you gotta get excited about their stuff, and you gotta spend hours on discord and/or in the group chat bouncing ideas off each other and just, get invested in each other as fans and as writers. (and hopefully also as people you'll still be friends with a decade from now!)

like i'm never ever going to turn down a nice comment on ao3, it's always wonderful! when someone quotes the parts they liked best it absolutely makes my day! but what i need, what actually fuels me, is the attention and interest from the 2-5 people i actually write all my fics for, because they loved the idea and i know they can't wait to read it and will scream at me at length once they do. relationships are always going to motivate and reward you better than fans, and fortunately relationships are the one of those two things that you have some control over!

so how do you build those relationships? start by commenting on fics you love on ao3, and especially leave longer, detailed comments. follow the author and reblog their fics on tumblr and add some thoughts about why you loved them. if the author engages with you when you do either of those things, keep doing it. maybe they'll follow you back, and once you've had a few mutuals-type interactions on the dashboard try sending them a DM asking if they want to chat about [fandom/character/pairing]; maybe briefly mention an idea/WIP you have that you're looking to bounce around with someone. i know if you have social anxiety this all sounds like horrible cruel lies but i SWEAR, this approach has never once failed me.

and i know that this advice probably sounds like disingenuous bullshit coming from someone who usually gets a lot of comments. all i can say is that i've been writing fanfic for 25 years and until 2020, i hardly ever pulled the kind of numbers i do now, and i genuinely did not care because i always had at least a couple friends to talk to about my ideas and listen to their ideas and get excited together. build relationships that feed you with other fans/writers, it's so much more rewarding and reliable than hoping strangers will be nice to you.

(and i'm not saying they shouldn't be nice to you! people SHOULD comment more! OP is completely correct! but you can't hand over control of your emotions about a hobby you love to random strangers on the internet and just hope they'll do the right thing. that is not a recipe for happiness.)

(also all of the above is in regard to people not leaving comments. the issue of people leaving asshole comments criticizing your work or demanding more without even bothering to say something nice first is related but separate, and the way to deal with those people is to either publicly shame them or bitch about them in the group chat and delete their comments, depending on your energy levels.)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you think it's okay for me to write for TWST even though I don't play the game?

Personally, I don’t think anyone ever “needs” to play a game in order to enjoy it and create for it. Sometimes you can just observe art from a distance and appreciate it, or you like hearing about how it brings joy to people you know. Maybe you like the aesthetic of it but can’t really see yourself getting heavily involved with it. Perhaps you don’t like gacha games so you can’t be motivated to engage with the mechanics. There are many possible avenues.

In the case of a game like Twisted Wonderland, there may be accessibility reasons why you don’t play since the game is only in English and Japanese—and even then, maybe your country doesn’t have a server to host it. In fact, I know there are many people who are TWST fans yet only read translations or watch videos about it without having played the game themselves. Maybe they found the manga or the light novel first. Whenever the anime comes out, people might discover TWST through that. We have to consider these aspects and be more open-minded about what constitutes as a “fan” rather than gatekeeping the label of “fan” to only those who play tie game for no discernible reason. What defines someone as a fan or not isn’t the labels other people put on you—you are the one that decides what you want to label yourself, and whether you are a fan or not.

I believe that also extends to content creation in fandom spaces. No one’s stopping you from making fan art or writing fanfic (or whatever it may be) just because you don’t play the game, and nor should you need anyone’s thumbs-up to do so. When you think that you do, you’re only imposing an arbitrary limit and holding yourself back. You have to be confident in deciding what you want to make without worrying how others might perceive you for it.

Now, that being said 💦 I don’t mean to scold anyone for asking me questions, but I feel that I again need to stress this: I am an internet stranger. My opinion or approval/disapproval shouldn’t hold any more weight than the next person’s. You should not put too much value in the advice of an internet stranger either. You shouldn’t care whether or not I think something is okay for you to do. The only person who can give you “permission” is you!

I understand that maybe people may feel uncertain about themselves or are looking for reassurance from a third party, but I do not feel I am the right place to go to for these kinds of things. Even though I answer in earnest, questions of this nature make me feel like I’m being put on the spot and pressured to provide timely comfort.

I don’t feel comfortable continuously being asked for very personalized advice like this; asks like this push on the boundary and start getting into uncomfortable territory for me. I’m here to talk about Disney anime pretty boys. I’m not here to be a fandom counselor 😅 Does that make sense?

This isn’t the only time I’ve received asks of this nature, nor is it the only time I’ve had to give a public warning about this. Please be mindful and respect the boundaries I have set.

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

Genuine question, how does one deal with someone being so insistent on their lack of (self-)worth? Not to vent too much, but I grew up with someone who was at least as bad, if not worse than Ragatha. I developed similar habits (this comic is a painful reminder of that) and my friends also tend to struggle with these feelings. But I never know how to deal with these issues, and it just leaves me feeling helpless.

I believe you‘re not a psychologist and it‘s fine if you don‘t want to answer this. But if you do have some advice or resources on this topic, I‘d love to know about it.

hi !

you're right , i am Not a psychologist ! my only credential is pretty much having it as my special interest of many years , so ... ! obligatory ' take this with a grain of salt ' disclaimer

i'm only answering this ask because i do like talking about these kinds of stuff ( in fact i'm in the middle of writing another psychology infographic with ragatha because of Course i am , ) and it's Relevant right now ... but for the most part i am literally just a stranger on the internet and thus i'll only be giving out general advice !! any specifics of the situation are stuff you'll need to figure out yourself

number one thing is that you should Always Take Care Of Yourself . it may be hard to admit , but these types of people can actually be Emotionally Draining - and i'm saying that as someone who had to deal with those people myself . and well you don't want to accidentally say things that make them feel worse

second thing is that a lot of it is ... really the other person's effort . all you can do is be supportive and gently encourage them . what took me so long to accept is that no amount of words or compliments will lift someone's self-esteem up - while it helps , it really has to come from Within , and that's something that'll take months or Years to build up . you can't force someone to start loving themself - and that's a hard pill to swallow

and the third thing is that ... well . there's a possibility that it could be a symptom of a mental disorder and thus you should encourage them to seek professional help . i am aware that the option is not available for everyone though , but i think recognizing that it might be a mental problem might take the burden off of you a little - as they're not really things a non-professional should handle .

as for resources , this article was extensive about this topic , including recognizing where the low self-esteem comes from , what Not to say to someone with low self-esteem , and tips that'll help the person ! very wonderful to read .

this article is for partners but i think it applies to people you're close with in general . what i like about it is how it Encourages open communication and listening . something you'll realize is that it's Different for everybody and it's good to learn more about the problem than jumping to a hasty solution or making assumptions . also it encourages them to talk more about their Feelings and talking about your feelings is what Very Cool And Hot People Do !

oh God sorry for the long post this should be enough to give me a diagnosis -